


After You

by wali21



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adult Peter Parker, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Christmas Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Future Fic, Getting Together, Holiday Fic Exchange, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28454037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wali21/pseuds/wali21
Summary: Tony must attend a gala for Pepper.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84
Collections: Ironspiders Georg Secret Stocking Stuffer Exchange 2020





	After You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [textbookchoices](https://archiveofourown.org/users/textbookchoices/gifts).



> THANK YOU to all who read/click this! You are amazing and make my day SO BRIGHT! I adore each and every one of you! <3!
> 
> Big thank you to GlassesOfJustice for running this exchange!
> 
> A treat for aohatsu! Thank you for following me on Tumblr and being so nice to me. I hope you get some enjoyment from this little fic. <3
> 
> Sorry this is so late!

It is a long night.

All nights around the holiday season always seem longer to Tony. Longer when it’s galas and parties and all the things from Tony’s childhood and playboy days that he’d like to forget.

But the memories never truly go away.

And now he doesn’t even have someone to go with him. To distract him. To hang on his arm. To dance with him. To love him.

He’s not going back to the days before, when any pretty face on his arm would be fine without giving it even a moment of thought.

Not after Pepper.

Not when his daughter could ask uncomfortable questions and actually understand the answers.

Not at a Stark Industries’ event. Where it would mean something serious. 

Not that he hasn’t been slowly dating. Dating is easy. One date and he can show to the media and the world that he’s back, that dying and being resurrected hasn’t stopped him from being ‘the great Tony Stark’ – the person they all see as a hero.

As a savior.

But not as a man.

***

The gala is beautifully decorated, strings of lights everywhere, trees reaching towards the ceiling, festively adorned with baubles. There is garland draped artfully from the balustrades, wreaths placed in strategic spots, and a multitude of tables festooned with the latest in high-end satin and glassware.

Centerpieces dominate every table, skillfully made spun sugar trees, decked out with mini ornaments, lite up from within by fake candles.

A small orchestra plays holiday themed music in the background. The tinkling of piano keys resonates throughout the party, beautifully combined with the strings to create something that doesn’t give Tony a headache.

Tony takes it all in. One long sweeping glance around the room, already bored. It is just like any other gala he has been to, all that changes is the decorations and the rotating guest list of puffed up political shirts and the starlets of the week. 

Tony is just glad he doesn’t have to speak at this event.

Since coming back, all anyone wants to do is – talk.

Talk, talk, talk.

All he wants is some time alone. Some time with his daughter. Some time in the lab with his bots.

Some time with Peter. 

But he’d made a promise to attend this event for Stark Industries and he doesn’t break promises anymore. 

Or at least he tries really hard this time to be that man that doesn’t break promises.

He will always be Iron Man.

And that will never change.

He is who he is.

*** 

There are several bars spread out throughout the lavish ballroom and Tony eyes up each one, looking for the one with the least amount of people. There is always one tucked away in some little corner, an unusual amalgamation at every event.

Tony heads for that one.

He skirts around people, getting waylaid by more than one person but sneakily slipping out of their grasps with nary a word. 

He is abruptly pulled into a circle of people, someone confident enough to put hands on him. He startles, pulling sharply away.

Suddenly, out of no-where, security is there, dealing with the guest quickly and quietly and Tony is back on his way to the bar.

He knows he isn’t supposed to drink much anymore, a side effect of resurrection, but one or two won’t hurt.

He doesn’t drink like he used to, as a crutch for not splitting himself open and letting someone else help with all the shit in his messed up head. Hell, even Pepper didn’t know about most of the foreboding images that ran through his mind daily back then.

Now, knowing the weight of the universe really was on his shoulders, it doesn’t help with the memories of drinking himself into a stupor night after night after night, waiting for the visions to transform, for the soul-sucking despair to melt away. 

He didn’t want to be here. To be at a party where all eyes track his movements, where acquaintances are far between and strangers will fill every seat just to get a glimpse of the hero that saved the universe. 

Finally, he arrives at the bar, thankfully empty of patrons at the moment. He orders a single-malt scotch on the rocks, swirling the liquid in the glass, ball of ice clinking against the side of the glass, then takes a small sip. It’s top notch.

After all, this is a Stark Industries’ party. 

***

Tony cradles his drink in one hand, checking his watch with the other, hoping he’d be allowed to depart soon. He’d promised Pepper a short appearance but nothing else.

Their definitions of a brief appearance are probably very different. Oh well. Tony can only handle so much of the pomp and pageantry before he truly goes insane.

This life of his now, is more than he could have dreamed for when he first woke up and found out how many years had passed. When his body and breath were back but his life had started to fall apart around him.

He knows he should be grateful. And he is. Most of the time.

It’s hard to be happy when holidays remind him of everything he has lost.

Pepper moving on and apologizing every time he sees her for it. Tony had thought there would be something broken between them after everything that had happened, but it doesn’t exist, there is no strain in their friendship. Somehow it survived him dying and coming back to life, imagine that.

Tony snorts, self-deprecatingly. 

His heart aches for his daughter though and everything she’s had to go through because of him. She still worships her dad. But also cries every time she sees and touches him, making sure he is real and not just another projection or dream. It kills something inside him, that knowledge.

Everything he’d so arduously built, shattered and consumed by time.

Friends that treat him differently.

A world that sees him differently.

He does what he has to do to make people believe he is back to who he was before he died. He goes to parties held in his honor. He makes appearances for Stark Industries. He goes on first dates. He makes excuses about second ones and leaves it at that. He’s good at first dates. Has made a formula for them and everything.

But who is he kidding, he’s already gone on someone. Has been for years now. Since he woke up again after believing he’d died for good.

Died saving the universe.

Somewhere after waking up again and now, he has fallen in love with Peter.

Peter Parker.

Beautiful Peter Parker.

Strong and brave and pure and so smart.

And such a geek at times Tony can’t help but smile like a fool at his antics.

He has fallen and fallen hard.

Probably all those extra, long lab sessions, just the two of them, trading ideas back and forth, designing new equipment, inspiring each other. Or maybe it was the way Peter helped him acclimate to this new world he’d been thrust into without his permission.

But since Peter’s new job at Stark Industries started, Tony is seeing less and less of him in the lab and around the penthouse.

Tony doesn’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. After all, his feelings aren’t returned.

He knows the kid - _not a kid, Tony_ , he admonishes himself - but an adult now, would never date a man like him.

Not when he could have anyone he wants.

And he doesn’t want Tony.

***

Tony keeps his feelings to himself.

Pining away for probably the only thing in the world that he can’t be given as ‘the hero of the universe’.

But he tries not to think about it. Puts those feelings away in a tiny space in his mind and tries so hard not to love Peter. Tries to not miss Peter. Tries not to dream of an amazing life with Peter.

His feelings rarely obey him.

***

Tony tips the bartender then nurses his scotch in the shaded corner, hoping he won’t be accosted for at least a few minutes.

He takes another sip, closing his eyes and savoring the burning of the liquid down his throat, the smoky flavor flooding his mouth.

The flavor brings back memories. Some good. Some bad. Some horrifying. 

He sighs.

He has never been a maudlin drunk. He isn’t going to start now.

He gazes out over the gala, making sure he’s still obscured from prying eyes, and allows himself to get as close to relaxation as he ever can be in public. Just the thought of having to break through the throng of people again to make it to the front door creates a panic in him. One walk-through is going to have to be enough. He’ll apologize to Pepper later.

“There a way to get out of here without going through the front?”

He holds up a sizable amount of bills in front of the bartender and the man shows him a side door, pocketing the money quickly. Tony leaves his empty glass on the counter, ice ball ringing against the bottom of the tumbler, and he turns around, ready to make his escape from the gala.

He bumps into someone.

“Shit! Sorry! I’m so clumsy. I hope I didn’t…”

It’s Peter.

Of course it’s Peter.

“Ah, Mr. Parker,” Tony addresses him formally, unable to help putting some emotional space between them after his recent thoughts.

It’s been awhile since they’ve spent time together and Tony can’t help but grin at Peter. So happy to see him no matter his unrequited romantic feelings.

Tony has always wondered how the man can be so clumsy and yet can literally stick to things. It’s a mystery of one Peter Parker it seems.

Tony takes in Peter’s appearance, he can’t help himself, and Peter is wearing what has to be a bespoke suit. It fits him almost as well as the Spider-Man suit and shows off his lithe figure way more than Tony can handle.

His heart aches just a little bit knowing he wasn’t there the first time to show Peter the wonders of a suit made just for him.

His entire appearance is impeccable, from the artfully tousled curls to the shine of his dress shoes.

He is so gorgeous.

Tony’s eyes linger longer than is proper for close friends, perusing the well-made garments and the way they skim over Peter’s figure.

But Peter isn’t paying any attention anyway. Or at least Tony hopes he’s not. 

“Mr. Stark! I mean, Tony. I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.”

“Had to make an appearance for Pepper.”

“Oh! Have you seen, Ms. Potts yet? I wanted to thank her for coming with me to get the suit. It looks okay, right?”

Tony will not be jealous Peter didn’t ask him.

“No I haven’t seen her and I probably won’t. We made arrangements; I’d shake a few hands and smile at a few people and then I could take my leave.”

Tony doesn’t mention he’d instead strode through crowds of people, too many grabbing hands, and loud shouts of his name, almost every eye in the room on him.

Tony doesn’t answer Peter’s question about the suit. Everything that’d come out of his mouth would be about how sinful Peter looks and that just won’t do.

He will never ruin the friendship that exists between them.

So he keeps his mouth resolutely shut.

“Oh, are you leaving already?” Peter asks, looking crushed.

Tony contemplates his choices.

On one hand, it’s Peter. All time with Peter is a blessing.

On the other hand, time with Peter is filled with a longing he can never suppress.

But it has been too long since they’ve been able to be together, alone at that, and Tony knows he’ll take all the time in the world to be by Peter’s side. 

“I was. But I’ve got a better idea. Come on, you’ll love this,” Tony grins, hand gently placed on Peter’s shoulder, unconsciously rubbing it back and forth.

“Sounds good, Tony.” Peter grins back.

Tony guides them towards the side door, then turns around, waiting for Peter before opening it and stepping to the side, letting Peter enter first, hand pressed to the small of his back before following after him.

Tony leads them to a bank of elevators instead of heading downstairs to the second floor exit. He strides inside, pivoting in his dress shoes to face the door and Peter is suddenly extremely close, intimately face-to-face with him.

Peter stares into his eyes.

Tony stares right back.

Tony’s hands fall to Peter’s slim hips without his input and he is pulling Peter a step closer into his personal space until Peter is inside the elevator with him.

For a moment neither of them move. 

Tony holds his breath and reaches around and presses the button for the roof. 

***

The elevator ride is silent.

***

Tony uses the hands still on Peter’s hips to spin him around and they step out of the elevator together and into a magical land.

Snowflakes lightly fall from the dark night sky; the strings of lights catching their slow descent to the ground. An empty skating rink forlornly waits for its next patrons.

City lights fill the skyline, a stunning sight against the inky blackness of the sky. The main lights for the skating rink are dead for the nighttime but the long strands of lights hung around the rink remain on and leave a colorful glow behind. Trees line one side of the rink, more lights strung around their robust forms.

The shining, smooth, white ice a winter wonderland dream.

“Wow!” Peter exclaims, waving his arms around, turning and spinning around to experience everything that is the wintery New York skyline from the rooftop of the building.

Tony watches Peter look for him, a big grin on his face when their eyes meet.

It is almost too picturesque, Tony thinks, more fitting to a film than real life. And being up there with Peter, it’s more than Tony imagined ever getting to experience with the man he loves.

But he smiles anyway, taking in the joy on Peter’s face.

“This is crazy incredible, Tony!”

“Sure is, Pete.”

He is so happy that Peter is enjoying himself. Tony stares at Peter while Peter checks out the place, running his hand along the edge of the skating rink, the small drift of snow atop it getting his fingers damp.

Tony can’t help but track Peter’s progress around the rink, his svelte form in his black suit lit up by the colored lights overhead. Peter’s wind swept hair curling into his face; it is an amazing look on him.

Hell, who is Tony kidding? Every look is amazing on Peter.

He lets himself look his fill.

Peter, all grown up now, is mesmerizing.

His laughter, his smile, his sharp mind. So many other qualities, Tony can’t even name them all.

He gently smiles to himself.

Peter is playing with the small lumps of snow now, throwing it up with both hands and letting it fall down around him. More snowflakes are already sprinkled in his hair and on his suit.

He almost looks like that kid Tony first met.

The kid that had something inside of him; a pure lightness despite all the sorrow he’d experienced throughout his short life. Tony has to believe some of that kid he’d first met in Queens still exists inside Peter, or at least the purest parts must, but Tony mourns the marks his actions have left on Peter’s soul.

He rarely sees an open and cheerful lightness to Peter’s actions like before his death. Most people take that as part of Peter growing up, but Tony knows better.

Peter is good at hiding his pain.

Tony recognizes it like staring into a mirror.

Sometimes in his eyes, Tony will get a glimpse of mourning, of a man left broken by what he has seen and felt.

Tony wishes he could take all of Peter’s pain away. 

He is pleased he decided to bring Peter up here.

***

Peter finally makes a full circle around the rink, coming back to stand in front of Tony.

“This place is ridiculously cool, Tony!”

“I’m really glad you like it, Peter.”

“The ice looks amazing. We should go ice skating! Having the whole place to ourselves never happens.”

Tony doesn’t say that he could buy out a rink any time for Peter and that they don’t need to go ice skating right now.

Instead, he tells the truth.

“I’ve never…gone ice skating.”

“What?” Peter looks astonished.

Tony looks away, throat growing tight. Fuck.

“How is that even possible?” Peter asks, gently.

“My parents weren’t exactly the doting ones everyone thinks they were. You probably have more ‘normal’ childhood experiences than I do,” he roughly grits out between shallow breaths.

He will not hyperventilate. No. No. No. Not in front of Peter. No. Don’t Tony. C’mon, you’ve got this. Deep breaths.

The bad memories of his childhood so easily overtake his mind, even after all these years. Somehow, it’s never the good ones that stay with him.

“I’m sorry, Tony.” Peter raises a hand, touching Tony on the arm and rubbing back and forth.

Tony wants to feel that touch on his bare skin. Not on some velvet suit jacket. He leans into Peter’s touch, unable to help himself.

Peter has such control over him and he doesn’t even know it.

“C’mon, I’ll show you how to!” Peter enthusiastically exclaims, nonchalantly pulling at Tony’s arm, drawing him towards the benches and rack of skates.

Tony ponders the idea. One look at Peter’s brightly smiling face and Tony knows his answer.

“Sure, Peter. I’d love to learn.”

“Awesome! It’s going to be incredible!” Tony watches as Peter looks at the skates, picking out a pair for himself and another for Tony.

He hands Tony his pair before walking over to one of the benches and sitting down, pulling off his dress shoes and beginning to stuff his feet into the skates.

Tony stands there, skates hanging limply by his side, guards still carefully covering the sharp blades.

“How do you know these will fit me?” Tony asks.

“I know all your measurements,” Peter replies, seemingly absorbed in lacing up his skates.

Tony coughs, then raises an eyebrow when Peter looks up and into his eyes.

“Uh – from the time we worked on the new Iron Man suit?” Peter answers it like a question, like he’s not sure he should be saying anything at all. His eyes fall back to finish lacing up his left skate, blush rising to his skin.

Tony can’t help but smirk.

Peter remembers his shoe size.

From one fitting.

That should not make Tony feel cared for in any way. But it does.

He needs to get his feelings under control and quickly. The soft smile that wants to break across his face can’t show. Not while he’s hanging out with Peter. Not when Peter could get the right idea about why he’s smiling. Peter is whip-smart and Tony is half surprised he hasn’t already ferreted out Tony’s feelings for him.

He guesses all the moments of fake smiles, fake interest, and fake attention have made him a pretty good actor.

Tony can’t help but sometimes wish for a different life. One where Peter found out about his feelings and returned them. A life where he could be lucky enough to have Peter’s love.

***

Tony holds on to the side of the rink, slowly gliding along the ice, Peter skating backwards in front of him, giving him tips. They make a few passes around the rink like that before Peter takes a hold of his hands and pulls Tony along with him, gliding effortlessly backwards while Tony pushes off hoping his forward momentum won’t cause him to fall.

It is like every romantic comedy cliché and Tony can’t believe he’s taking part in something so ridiculous. It just goes to show how smitten he is with Peter that he even agreed to it in the first place.

He doesn’t think about how different this night would be if the two of them were a couple. No, he can’t think like that. He needs to concentrate on his feet anyway and the thin, sharp blades that are the only thing keeping him from falling on his face.

Okay, maybe not the only thing.

Tony trusts Peter won’t let him fall.

Unless Peter becomes as clumsy on the ice as he is on solid ground and they fall together.

But Tony isn’t thinking about that either.

***

The cold winter night is beginning to affect Tony. He rubs his hands back and forth together, hoping to warm them up since he didn’t bring gloves, an oversight on his part. Not that he planned on being on a cold rooftop, learning to ice skate from the man he loves while snowflakes flutter down around them. 

Hands touch his, ones freezing to ones wrapped up in soft gloves.

He looks up.

Peter.

Their eyes meet.

Peter gently smiles.

Tony smiles back.

Peter leans in.

And Tony doesn’t stop him.

They kiss softly.

Peter is smiling at him, that bright smile that makes Tony smile right back, drawing him in to kiss him again.

“I didn’t know you have feelings for me, too.”

“Tony, I’ve loved you since that moment in the lab, when you looked over at me with this smirk lighting up your face, the newest suit components just completed and you told me, “You did good, Pete,” and then proceeded to spend all night talking about your favorite pizza toppings while we stuffed our faces with sushi on the sofa. 

“Really?”

“Really,” Peter responds, wide grin on his face.

He can’t help smiling back.

Tony remembers that day.

It was about three months after he’d been resurrected, just him and Peter in the lab, bots being their usual mix of helpful and destructive, the two of them working on the designs for a new Iron Man suit. Peter had just come back from seeing some of his friends and had immediately walked Tony through a new design idea he wanted to implement.

It had seemed like any other day to Tony.

In love with a man he couldn’t have.

But now, he knows the truth.

Peter loves him back.

Tony is still reeling from that information.

Tony waits by the side of the ice rink while Peter plays around, doing fancy spins and tricks, twirling and spinning in circles almost too fast to see.

When Peter comes back, they lock gazes, and Tony takes a sharp breath in.

Peter is so stunning.

Peter smiles and Tony smiles back, the recognition of that something between them filling their gazes.

He wants and wants and wants. The ache in his chest transformed into the best feeling in the world.

They kiss while standing on the ice – Peter pretty much holding the two of them up – underneath the colored holiday lights, surrounded by the most enchanted scenery imaginable. 

Wrapped up in each other’s arms, they kiss and kiss, snowflakes falling around them, tucked into their own little world.

“I love you, Peter.”

“I love you, Tony.”

They kiss gently.

Tony is so happy.

Beautiful Peter Parker.

And he is all Tony’s to love now. 

All the nights that he has spent ambivalent to the holiday season seems so absurd now.

The holidays are magical.

And this will be one he cherishes.

It is a long night.


End file.
